Discord- The catalyst


November 13th, 2017, 1:03 pm
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D (Guest) November 14th, 2017, 7:36 am
Binge reading: done.

Constructive criticism starts here. Artists uncapable of recieving it are advised to end reading now.

I would say that while art is great. Story is
somewhat generic, which isn't necessarily a problem, IF it will be done in a skillful way.
Presenting that story is more of a problem. In webcomis there are 2 common ways to fail at it: speaking instead of showing and showing in confusing way. You belong to 2nd one. As shown, for example, on 13th page of of this chapter. Page before wo can see Haru jumping from above, then he lands on a guard that is nearly completly cut of by the edge of the panel, making him easy to miss, then the biggest bad habit of yours: bunch of close-ups. This may result in confusing a reader, as they can't tell what is happening, and who is talking to whom, nor where. I recommend tring to use them more sparingly.
Another possibly related matter is pacing. In between ch 3 pg 13 and ch 4 pg 1, you go from Aglais and Cedric talking alone, to what I assume is member of that family that owned the gem, to a new chapter where Aglais and Cedric already meet with thiefs. On it's own it wouldn't be so bad, but close-ups and what I assume is an error in dividing chapters on pagemake transiton confusing.
Lastly the way you make panels seems to fit more for a strip format than page to page one. I would advise either swithing to more comic-like placement, or to strip format, as in current state it doesn't mesh well.

I hope my opinion will be useful, stay determined.
daisam25 November 14th, 2017, 4:29 pm
Thank You! @D: I understand, I have pacing issues when coming to comics. And this series is designed for webcomic flow. I just decided to post here as well. A lot of what's happening now is a little older then some of my current pages. I am trying to get the pacing issue under control, but thank you for pointing it out! I want people to feel comfortable while reading my series since It's for everyone to enjoy!